2013

Ever since the new school year started i've really been starting to feel like shit almost everyday.

Posting sad lines on tumblr is getting on my own nerves therefore all of that shall be diverted to this space here yay.

Don't know if i'm becoming more clingy or possessive or it's just the result of too much stress that i'm just breaking down so easily these days. Random crying outbreaks, mood swings and other crap. I can't stand myself. I always beat myself up about things and sometimes i beat other people up in my mind too.

I need to really instill some sort of calmness in my soul. I need so stop thinking so much. Jean says preoccupy myself with other thoughts but i can't think of any. They're always about the same things.

I always end up regretting venturing to somebody's blog or stalking some people because i always see things that constantly just appear in my head and haunt me for hours. Painful.

She said : "You'll never be one of them and you'll never fit in. You're nobody. Just one of their friend's girlfriend. No one cares about you." 

How is it that things were better last year and this year everything has changed. It has only been 12 days. Everyday i think about something and it feels like a shotful of poison into my head. These shots lead to actual headaches and loss in appetite. 

Someone help me. I feel the lowest and the most insecure i've felt in a while.